A Mother’s In Between

This month I’ve been part of an embodied mothers’ online group. An online community held and facilitated by the wonderful Sophie Rae, where we connect, witness and share with one another. I feel so privileged to be part of a community with such wonderful mamas, women who show up and do their best, day after day. 

In one of the shares this week, a mama spoke to the notion of the space in-between the phases of motherhood, for her, the newborn phase coming to an end and the next one beginning. In motherhood, the in-between phases are often over before you realise, and I think this can be true in all aspects of life too.

On the way home from school this week I stopped for an hour in the park with Theia, and Max nodded off in the sling. A moment for Theia and I to play together on the double swing, to talk about her day, and for her to have my full attention. It topped up my tank and I think hers too. This felt like an emergence of a new ‘first’ in the ever-changing phases of motherhood, the newborn stage for Theia seeming so distant, as her life as a big sister shifted again. Our new phase unfolds; another in-between phase having already passed without saying goodbye.

It really got me thinking about of one of my favourite juicy discoveries that I’ve not thought about for a while. Did you know that the Japanese have a word for the space between, ‘Ma’ , I’ve always found it so fascinating that there’s no direct translation to English but there is in Sanskrit, Madhya, which is the pause between stimulus and response. In Japanese, ‘Ma’ relates to the space between time and silence, space and architecture, philosophy, and daily life. The character itself 間 combines "gate" (門) and "sun" (日), implying light shining through a doorway, emphasising the empty space. Such a powerful concept. It feels so aligned to apply
some consciousness around this, especially with the early signs of spring that’s bestowed us this week. The warmth in the spaces between, the light shining through the doorway, the idea of hope and light even in the darkness in much of the news today.

With this thought process in mind, I give gratitude to the sun gate:

The warmth of the sun on my face
Max’s warm milk breath in the wee hours
The way our cat Sophie sits in the sunbeam (and follows it round the room)
The embers of a cosy fireplace
The warm hands of my babies in mine
The embrace of my partner like a jigsaw piece 

My intention this week is to seek and feel the warmth, in whatever way it appears. There’s so much in the world right now that feels cold and dark, and those things I cannot change. But I can choose to find, observe, witness, seek the warm patches, maybe in the same way our cat does, always sitting in the sunbeam.

There’s really so much warmth, see it, feel it, pay attention to it. You are it.

Love, Jodie x